A Final Journey

King David’ son was very sick…..and scripture tells us:

David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground.
The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.
On the seventh day the child died. David's servants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, "While the child was still living, we spoke to David but he would not listen to us. How can we tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate."
David noticed that his servants were whispering among themselves and he realized the child was dead. "Is the child dead?" he asked. "Yes," they replied, "he is dead."
Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped.
Then he went to his own house, and at his request, they served him food, and he ate.
His servants asked him, "Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!"
He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.'
But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."
Found in 2 Samuel 12

My Mother went into respiratory distress on February 12, 2010. For the next 11 days we had a 24/7 vigil with Mom…only we did not pray that God would be gracious and allow her to live. We prayed that God would be gracious and usher her into her heavenly home with Him.

Every day we prayed ...Today Lord?

During this time, God showered Mom and us with so many blessings.

Her room was sacred ground as we traveled this final journey with her and oh, how we felt God’s presence every day.

Blessings too numerous to share them all, but we all felt God’s close comfort, peace and strength. My workplace blessed me with compassion and had an understanding that I needed to be with Mom. I just could not leave her.

My sisters and I experienced renewed strength and energy every day in spite of little sleep. We all have our own physical challenges, and yet God made it possible for us to spend that time with Mom and not be hindered in any way physically.

Mom’s precious grandchildren were also such a blessing. Some staying all night so that my sisters and I could go home and sleep a night in our own beds. Helping to clean and sort Mother’s belongings so that daughters did not have to face that right away.

Blessings of experiencing Mom’s old sense of humor and tenderness that were seldom seen in her last few years as years of pain and strong medications robbed her of so much joy and peace.

When I receive a text on my phone, it has a loud ding-dong sound. In the first few days, when Mom heard it, she would say “Helloooooo”..the same helloooooo that we heard every time she answered her phone.

My mother is of strong Irish heritage, and in our younger years every time the family got together, Mom, my two sisters and I would dance an Irish jig. It always made us laugh. My sister Candy and I did a little Irish jig for her and she smiled and even giggled a bit.

In the beginning when she was able to interact a bit, we would watch for her eyes to open and we would jump up and start talking. She always wanted to know what time it was…so we would tell her. We shared many memories with her and would try to make her laugh…and of course, we told her we loved her every time.

I would say, “Mom, I love you”…and she would respond (in a very old Katherine Hepburn type voice) “I love you tooooo”. I would say “I love you more” and she would smile and shake her head and say, “No you don’t”. I laughed the first time she said that….but I realized that she was right…for I love my children so much…in a way they can never understand. I love them more as Mom loves me more.

As the days passed, she voice weaker and weaker, I would say “I love you Mom” and she would whisper, barely audible. “I love you to”…I would say, “I love you more and she simply said “No”. The last time….unable to speak, she just mouthed the words I love you too, and when I said, “I love you more”…she only shook her head no.

God knew what Mom needed from us and God knew what her daughters needed to see and hear from our Mom during our final days with her…and how He blessed us.

Blessings in the form of Angels of mercy in flesh that were all around us. The hospice and hospital staffs were wonderful. The hospice physician and staff nurses were so informative and helped us understand each stage of Mom’s final days. The hospital Chaplin’s were kind and brought comfort with words from scripture and prayers. The hospital staff softly and tenderly cared for Mom, like a newborn babe, to make her as comfortable as they could. They had soft voices and soft tender hands. They would smooth her hair and apply Chap Stick to her dry cracked lips. One overheard us talking of Mom’s favorite Psalm, 121, and the next day brought in a tape player with a taped musical rendition of that Psalm…to play for Mom. Another would come before she went home, after a long nights work and talk with me, and sweetly tell Mom good-bye before she left. Another fascinated us with his knowledge of Biblical history. The angel who so quietly cleaned Mom’s room had a beautiful smile and a warm good morning every day. Everyone had such love and compassion for the family. We too were well taken care of as we spent the days and nights with Mom. Many shared tears and hugs with us the morning she passed.

The final few days Mom was unresponsive. On the day of her passing, I had some time alone with her. I laid my hands on her and prayed… “Let it be today Lord.”

I told Mom once again that it was okay to leave us. I assured her that we wanted what she wanted and has wanted for many years…to be free of pain and struggles and to be with her wonderful Lord.

The spirit of the Lord came over me and I had such a strong desire to read aloud to Mom from Scripture every thing I could about Heaven. I laid my big bible on her bedside and as I read about streets of gold, and gates of pearl, a place with no more pain, no more sorrow, no more death, I would use her name…Betty was with the Lord…Betty was walking those streets of gold…Betty basking in the light that no darkness would ever touch…Betty complete, whole and healthy again.

Candy came in and we prayed with her again and sat with her as we had the previous 10 days. After a few hours, I said I have to go to the restroom. I usually went downstairs when others were in the room to stretch my legs a bit. As I went downstairs, Candy decided to use the restroom in Mom’s room.

In that brief time, Mom decided to breathe her last and passed on to be with her precious Savior. My Mom liked to be in control and so she was to the very end!

As we sat and stroked Mom’s small arms and marveled at how peaceful she looked...Like King David, the time of watching, guarding and praying for Mom was over. It was now time to rejoice…and as we rejoiced that she was present with the Lord, I remembered, “Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.” Psa 116:15

There is a new modern version of that great old song, Amazing Grace and it includes a new stanza…

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

My Mom was ransomed many years ago when she accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior…but now her chains to this life and her pain and struggles are gone. She has found mercy, unending love and amazing grace with Christ in heaven…She is free at last and at peace. Oh, how I prayed for peace for her.

One last thought...

One late night as I prayed for her… with my hands on her and my face in her sheet crying….

I looked up I saw the door to her room. An over sized and heavy wooden door with a silver handle and I realized that Mommy was soon to go through her last door.

When Mom went through that final door on February 23, 2010 @ 12:45pm she was face to face with her Savior and taking in all of His splendor and majesty…and if she looked back…she would see no door…for this life is no more.

But for those of us left here, we stand facing the closed door. We love her and we will miss her and will all experience that strange mixture of grief and relief……relief for her…grief for us….and in our grief we press our hand ever so gently on this side of the door…and hold it there for just a moment…and we say….

See you later Mom…see you later.

FADLEY (Edwards) Betty Jean Fadley. After 84 years of earthly life, Betty Jean peacefully left her three children, Sharon (Walt) Dolder, Candy (Ron) Koons, Chrissy (Dennis) Giffin, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, nieces and nephews, including special niece Paulette Quinn, to remember and miss her. Those that have greeted Betty in her new life are her parents Thomas Jefferson and Jeanette Bridget (Cotter) Edwards, brothers Paul and William. Also there to greet her is John. Mom was a true "lady" that gave much love and many blessings to us all. We will be together again. 2 Corinthians 5:8, We are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord.