A Final Journey

King David’ son was very sick…..and scripture tells us:

David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground.
The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.
On the seventh day the child died. David's servants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, "While the child was still living, we spoke to David but he would not listen to us. How can we tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate."
David noticed that his servants were whispering among themselves and he realized the child was dead. "Is the child dead?" he asked. "Yes," they replied, "he is dead."
Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped.
Then he went to his own house, and at his request, they served him food, and he ate.
His servants asked him, "Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!"
He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.'
But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."
Found in 2 Samuel 12

My Mother went into respiratory distress on February 12, 2010. For the next 11 days we had a 24/7 vigil with Mom…only we did not pray that God would be gracious and allow her to live. We prayed that God would be gracious and usher her into her heavenly home with Him.

Every day we prayed ...Today Lord?

During this time, God showered Mom and us with so many blessings.

Her room was sacred ground as we traveled this final journey with her and oh, how we felt God’s presence every day.

Blessings too numerous to share them all, but we all felt God’s close comfort, peace and strength. My workplace blessed me with compassion and had an understanding that I needed to be with Mom. I just could not leave her.

My sisters and I experienced renewed strength and energy every day in spite of little sleep. We all have our own physical challenges, and yet God made it possible for us to spend that time with Mom and not be hindered in any way physically.

Mom’s precious grandchildren were also such a blessing. Some staying all night so that my sisters and I could go home and sleep a night in our own beds. Helping to clean and sort Mother’s belongings so that daughters did not have to face that right away.

Blessings of experiencing Mom’s old sense of humor and tenderness that were seldom seen in her last few years as years of pain and strong medications robbed her of so much joy and peace.

When I receive a text on my phone, it has a loud ding-dong sound. In the first few days, when Mom heard it, she would say “Helloooooo”..the same helloooooo that we heard every time she answered her phone.

My mother is of strong Irish heritage, and in our younger years every time the family got together, Mom, my two sisters and I would dance an Irish jig. It always made us laugh. My sister Candy and I did a little Irish jig for her and she smiled and even giggled a bit.

In the beginning when she was able to interact a bit, we would watch for her eyes to open and we would jump up and start talking. She always wanted to know what time it was…so we would tell her. We shared many memories with her and would try to make her laugh…and of course, we told her we loved her every time.

I would say, “Mom, I love you”…and she would respond (in a very old Katherine Hepburn type voice) “I love you tooooo”. I would say “I love you more” and she would smile and shake her head and say, “No you don’t”. I laughed the first time she said that….but I realized that she was right…for I love my children so much…in a way they can never understand. I love them more as Mom loves me more.

As the days passed, she voice weaker and weaker, I would say “I love you Mom” and she would whisper, barely audible. “I love you to”…I would say, “I love you more and she simply said “No”. The last time….unable to speak, she just mouthed the words I love you too, and when I said, “I love you more”…she only shook her head no.

God knew what Mom needed from us and God knew what her daughters needed to see and hear from our Mom during our final days with her…and how He blessed us.

Blessings in the form of Angels of mercy in flesh that were all around us. The hospice and hospital staffs were wonderful. The hospice physician and staff nurses were so informative and helped us understand each stage of Mom’s final days. The hospital Chaplin’s were kind and brought comfort with words from scripture and prayers. The hospital staff softly and tenderly cared for Mom, like a newborn babe, to make her as comfortable as they could. They had soft voices and soft tender hands. They would smooth her hair and apply Chap Stick to her dry cracked lips. One overheard us talking of Mom’s favorite Psalm, 121, and the next day brought in a tape player with a taped musical rendition of that Psalm…to play for Mom. Another would come before she went home, after a long nights work and talk with me, and sweetly tell Mom good-bye before she left. Another fascinated us with his knowledge of Biblical history. The angel who so quietly cleaned Mom’s room had a beautiful smile and a warm good morning every day. Everyone had such love and compassion for the family. We too were well taken care of as we spent the days and nights with Mom. Many shared tears and hugs with us the morning she passed.

The final few days Mom was unresponsive. On the day of her passing, I had some time alone with her. I laid my hands on her and prayed… “Let it be today Lord.”

I told Mom once again that it was okay to leave us. I assured her that we wanted what she wanted and has wanted for many years…to be free of pain and struggles and to be with her wonderful Lord.

The spirit of the Lord came over me and I had such a strong desire to read aloud to Mom from Scripture every thing I could about Heaven. I laid my big bible on her bedside and as I read about streets of gold, and gates of pearl, a place with no more pain, no more sorrow, no more death, I would use her name…Betty was with the Lord…Betty was walking those streets of gold…Betty basking in the light that no darkness would ever touch…Betty complete, whole and healthy again.

Candy came in and we prayed with her again and sat with her as we had the previous 10 days. After a few hours, I said I have to go to the restroom. I usually went downstairs when others were in the room to stretch my legs a bit. As I went downstairs, Candy decided to use the restroom in Mom’s room.

In that brief time, Mom decided to breathe her last and passed on to be with her precious Savior. My Mom liked to be in control and so she was to the very end!

As we sat and stroked Mom’s small arms and marveled at how peaceful she looked...Like King David, the time of watching, guarding and praying for Mom was over. It was now time to rejoice…and as we rejoiced that she was present with the Lord, I remembered, “Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.” Psa 116:15

There is a new modern version of that great old song, Amazing Grace and it includes a new stanza…

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

My Mom was ransomed many years ago when she accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior…but now her chains to this life and her pain and struggles are gone. She has found mercy, unending love and amazing grace with Christ in heaven…She is free at last and at peace. Oh, how I prayed for peace for her.

One last thought...

One late night as I prayed for her… with my hands on her and my face in her sheet crying….

I looked up I saw the door to her room. An over sized and heavy wooden door with a silver handle and I realized that Mommy was soon to go through her last door.

When Mom went through that final door on February 23, 2010 @ 12:45pm she was face to face with her Savior and taking in all of His splendor and majesty…and if she looked back…she would see no door…for this life is no more.

But for those of us left here, we stand facing the closed door. We love her and we will miss her and will all experience that strange mixture of grief and relief……relief for her…grief for us….and in our grief we press our hand ever so gently on this side of the door…and hold it there for just a moment…and we say….

See you later Mom…see you later.

FADLEY (Edwards) Betty Jean Fadley. After 84 years of earthly life, Betty Jean peacefully left her three children, Sharon (Walt) Dolder, Candy (Ron) Koons, Chrissy (Dennis) Giffin, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, nieces and nephews, including special niece Paulette Quinn, to remember and miss her. Those that have greeted Betty in her new life are her parents Thomas Jefferson and Jeanette Bridget (Cotter) Edwards, brothers Paul and William. Also there to greet her is John. Mom was a true "lady" that gave much love and many blessings to us all. We will be together again. 2 Corinthians 5:8, We are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord.

Conclusions of a Busy Prayer Warrior

Is this Busy Prayer Warrior to busy to pray? The evil one would have me believe that.

John Bunyan said: “Pray often, for prayer is a shield to the soul, a sacrifice to God, and a scourge for Satan”

Satan does not like it when I sincerely go to God in prayer. He will cause any kind of chaos from small insignificant interruptions to large urgency's that demand my attention. Anything to distract me, to exhaust me, and to cause my mind to be overwhelmed with this thing we call life.

Not just physical busy-ness and movement…but the busy-ness of mind, spirit and soul. All wound up like a ten-day clock, ticking, ticking, ticking, but never running down.

A bazillion things to do every day…my day planner is sickly obese with many insignificant, unnecessary and wasteful moments I shove into the mouth of each day.

Is this Busy Prayer Warrior to busy to pray? The evil one would have me believe that….but I know it is a lie from the pit of hell.

John Wesley once said: “I have so much to do that I spend several hours in prayer before I am able to do it.”

King David often stated in his Psalms about when he prayed…

Psa 5:3 In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.
Psa 59:16 But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.
Psa 88:13 But I cry to you for help, O LORD; in the morning my prayer comes before you.
Psa 92:2 to proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night,
Psa 143:8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Jesus would pray often:
Mar 1:35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.
Luke 5:16 …Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.

The apostle Paul said:
1Th 5:17 pray without ceasing;

Paul also talks of being on the alert when praying…..
Eph 6:18 Pray in the Spirit at all times with every kind of prayer and request. Likewise, be alert with your most diligent efforts….

Jesus, King David, Paul, John Wesley and many others know the truth. There is a war that rages for my attention and my soul. Unseen forces to keep me from the very thing that gives strength to my body, peace to my soul, wisdom to my mind and organization to my day.

Paul told one of his church plants:
Eph 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
Eph 6:11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.
Eph 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Prayer is so powerful that there are spiritual forces of evil that work night and day to keep God’s people off their knees.

Discipline to pray to receive power in prayer..so to stand against the devil’s schemes to keep me undisciplined and powerless. But let’s be honest….I have a will and I have the knowledge and I have the experience and it is ME that falls for the schemes of the evil one. Although the warfare is real…I am not powerless and I have the greatest weaponry in the world…prayer...but what good is it if I leave it under the bed or in a locked box hidden even from my sight.

With conviction on my heart….I prayed for discipline to pray and the awareness of when I can pray. God never disappoints me when I ask for His help. I have been getting up early to pray. I am praying in my car to and from work. I pray during the day at work anytime my computer freezes up and I have a few minutes to wait. I pray as I walk the long walk to and from the restroom at work. I pray when I see the prayer requests come across, I pray when I lay down to sleep at night and when I wake up in the middle of the night.

Getting started was not easy….hard to keep my eyes open and mind focused at 5:00AM in the morning. Hard to give up my favorite Christian radio program to and from work. Hard to clear my mind of the many work related issues and challenges while waiting for the PC to unfreeze. Hard to remember to pray a little prayer while going to the restroom, because I am thinking of what all needs to be done for the remainder of the day.

This prayer discipline continues to be a struggle…because Satan does not like it when I pray.

It is getting easier...prayer is becoming (once again) a constant with great blessings…and I have felt the immense power and strength that flows through prayer in these last few weeks while watching my Mom slowly leave this life and start her new life with Christ.

“We must no longer see prayer as preparation for action. Prayer must be understood as action itself, a way of responding, a potent spiritual weapon to be used in spiritual warfare against the most powerful forces in the world. Prayer is not undertaken instead of other actions, but as a foundation for all the rest of the actions we take” Jim Wallis

Time to set that alarm clock for tomorrow morning at 5:00AM……

Amen and Amen

Convictions of a Busy Prayer Warrior

In my last entry, I shared “that God has reached down and thumped me on the head…in the last few days every book I have picked up…every radio preacher I have listened to at different times of the day on different radio stations have been talking about prayer….I think I better sit up and take notice…. “

God is speaking to me…..I started thinking about what I would have to do…what deep part of me needed to be touched (hummm, maybe even grabbed) to make this busy prayer warrior a prayer warrior of power.

Discipline came to mind.

Ugh…discipline…like dieting, exercising, budgeting and everyday care of home and family?

Discipline is not welcomed much these days…thought of like a bad word. Who needs discipline in a world of freethinking, free spending, free lifestyles and a western mind set that anything goes.

Over the last few weeks, the whole idea of discipline in regards to prayer kept coming to my mind. Last Sunday was the hardest thump…my pastor talked of discipline. The entire message was on discipline. (Okay, Okay Lord I am listening!).

It is a Godly character trait…an inward quality that speaks volumes outwardly without a word needed to be spoken.…and it is necessary…absolutely necessary to be the man or woman that God desires us to be in all walks of life.

Another thought or word has also come to mind (thank you Holy Spirit)….and it is power.

Discipline to pray to receive power in prayer.

Again, like discipline, the word or thought has jumped out at me in various ways over the last few weeks.

In an e-devotional I receive every morning, I read this about prayer:

while petitions for ourselves will be accepted, our pleadings for others, having in them more of the fruits of the Spirit--more love, more faith, more brotherly kindness--will be, through the precious merits of Jesus, the sweetest sacrifice that we can offer to God. Remember, again, that intercessory prayer is exceedingly prevalent [powerful]. What wonders it has accomplished! The Word of God teems with its marvelous deeds. Believer, you have a mighty engine in your hand; use it well, use it constantly, use it with faith, and you will surely be a blessing to others. *

Notice the words powerful and mighty. Just another reminder from above…..

Thump, thump, thump….I am convicted…

I have known great moments (sometime hours and whole days) of prayer. I have taught others to pray. I have written about prayer and have a few prayers of my own on paper….penned in times of great struggles as well as times of great joy and praise. I know about the discipline and power because I have experienced it so many times in prayer and in my journey with Christ.

This busy prayer warrior admits that I have allowed the tyranny of the urgent…the daily fires…the pressing responsibilities of home, work and yes, even ministry to choke and stifle the very thing that I know to be the greatest thing….time alone, in prayer with the Lord.


Jesus knew the greatest thing:
….. Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Luk 5:16


One hour


To be continued…



* Devotional material is taken from “Morning and Evening,” written by C.H. Spurgeon, revised and updated by Alistair Begg. Copyright (c) 2003,

Contemplations of a Busy Prayer Warrior

Mat 26:40 Then he returned to the disciples and found them asleep. He said to Peter, "Couldn't you stay awake and watch with me even one hour?"

One hour….

Last time I checked there are still 7 days a week with 24 hours in each day. A grand total of 168 hours each week. Take away 5 days with 11 hours each day for work (and that includes driving time) ) …that leaves me 113 hours. Sleep is the next big time robber…7 days with 7 hours of slumber and that leaves me 64 hours.

Let’s see…168-55-49=64 hours….really? Now I know all of the mathematicians out there will be able to break it down to the hour, minute and second that is left over each day for me….(like 3.20 hours M-F and so many left on the weekend)…but the reality is that I have 64 hours left a week after the essentials.

I could break it down more after doing all that I do in a day besides go to work…preparing meals, eating the meals, laundry, cleaning, bathing, exercise (hummmm did I say exercise??)visiting with family and friends, church, and the early mornings with my puppies etc etc…

The point is: I think I am too busy to spend a minimum of one hour a day with the Lord? 7 hours a week??

How do I spend my time?

It’s like money…I have it but at the end of the month I wonder “Where do it all go?” If I were disciplined enough to write down every penny I spent and how I spent it, I would realize where it all goes…and would be shocked how much is wasted.

How much time do I waste in my day? Denny and I quit watching TV several months ago and we have been reading more and spending more time in the Word, but what about that time of earnest fervent prayer?

I said that God has reached down and thumped me on the head…in the last few days every book I have picked up…every radio preacher I have listened to at different times of the day on different radio stations have been talking about prayer…I think I better sit up and take notice.

I am so thankful He pursues me the way He does. I know He wants the same from me for Him.

1Jn 5:14 & 15. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

One hour

To be continued……

Confessions of a Busy Prayer Warrior

Voices in Prayer, Bended Knee, E-Prayer Group, phone calls, and personal requests for prayer. Sickness, cancer, heart problems, hospital, age, surgery…and someone ready to go home to the Lord. Wayward children, broken relationships, financial problems, lost jobs, lost homes, lost hope.

Prayer has been on my mind as well as on my lips lately. (I confess, more on my mind).

When I was younger, before I became a Follower of Christ (FOC) my prayers were of a rocket flair dimension. Bargaining, negotiating, begging, and questioning prayers shot off at the last troubled minute to a God I knew existed, but did not know.

When I became a FOC, my prayers were as a child asking for anything and everything. Not necessarily material items or wishes (although those were included from time to time) but prayers asking for those character qualities that the mature FOC all around seemed to have that I did not have...and really had no clue about. Prayers to heal my Mom, to fix my car, to send a new refrigerator, to give strength to my friend who miscarried. My prayers were no longer like the rocket flair, but more like a firecracker blast to a God I was beginning to know.

Back then, and for many years I had the wonderful privileged of staying home with my children…and I had time to sit and have prolonged quiet and prayer times. Those were especially sweet times of fellowship and heartfelt connection to a living Savior that I was learning more and more about every day. I formed some very good habits of spending quiet, quality time with the Lord in His word and prayer that allowed me to know Him and myself better.

Those were my beloved times of prayer, no longer of an urgent flair type shot to God’s ears…but sitting at the Saviors feet, with hot tea or coffee, my bible and a blanket in the winter months and my back porch during the warm seasons of spring and summer. Prayer was a delight.

Now I work full time…I have grown children and grandchildren…I have friends…I am involved with my church in various ministries. I have a home to care for, meals to plan and prepare, laundry, shopping, bills, a wonderful husband and I have puppies.

It seems I no longer have the time to sit quietly…my prayers have returned to flair prayers in the car, at my desk when I get the E-prayer alerts, while I am throwing a load of laundry in the washer, while I am blowing my hair dry in the morning, while I am auditing a report at work …while I fall asleep, exhausted at the end of the day… and I think of a prayer request that came a week ago

Some days, I start my prayers in the car on the way to work…. “Oh God my Father, I come before you with this request for”… (Look out mister; this is my side of the road!!) “I know Lord that you know what Joey needs”… (Hello, Crystal speaking how can I help you)…oh where was I Lord….oh yes Joey….you know what he needs Lord and I pray that… (Hold on a minute Lord, the washer is off balance)…As I crawl into bed… “Who was I praying for? Oh, am I still on Joey…Well, my gracious God and Father, you know what he needs”…yawn, snort, snuggle….snore.

On some days, that is my day of praying…

Hard to admit, harder to accept and God has reached down and thumped me on the head…….

Mat 26:40 Then he returned to the disciples and found them asleep. He said to Peter, "Couldn't you stay awake and watch with me even one hour?

One hour….

To be continued………